oh you know, just some emotional ramblings after a sleepless night

This morning I am feeling so overwhelmed with emotions - mostly gratitude. I really do have some of the most amazing, supportive and generous people in my life.

I woke up this morning to Hank kicking me to turn the alarm off.  I wish I was kidding.  For the record - this is not the best way to start the day.  I had a minor meltdown because of the lack of sleep I got last night.  Between the lower back pressure from having a full bladder and getting up to pee what felt like every hour, the inability to get completely comfortable thanks to the little girl kicking me every time I rolled over a little too far onto my stomach, to Gemma growling because Hank takes up her space, and Hank kicking me in his sleep all night - it was a brutal slumber... or lack there of.  Poor Brandon took the brunt of it this morning but, in typical Brandon the miracle worker fashion, he just hugged me and kissed my forehead and said we'd be ok.  Isn't he wonderful? :)

I stood in my closet this morning what felt like forever, feeling enormous (how is that even possible considering just yesterday I felt small?!) and unable to find something to wear.  Then I saw the bag on the floor full of maternity clothes from my co-worker/friend Elizabeth.  THANK GOD for Elizabeth. She brought in a bag of maternity clothes for me weeks ago.  In fact, it was on her due date, three days before her planned C-section, the day she actually ended up giving birth to her adorable son Colton. Somehow in all the madness of having a toddler at home, planning for maternity leave and being 40 weeks pregnant, she thought of me.  I could cry right now because it makes me so emotional.  I threw on some khakis and a tank top and pulled the softest navy blue sweater out of the bag. All of a sudden, Wednesday seemed so much more manageable. My engagement ring and wedding band look really blingy next to this blue and that felt so good for some reason. The material of the sweater is so comforting AND it is really flattering.  Little does she know, Elizabeth definitely saved my morning.

Brandon took me to breakfast at Dunkin this morning and while they put strawberry cream cheese on my bagel instead of blueberry, they made my decaf French vanilla iced coffee PERFECTLY so I really don't even care. Coffee > Bagel.  Not to mention, Brandon also got me a perfect chocolate iced sprinkled donut and a blueberry muffin... some of my favorite breakfast things. Again - I am married to the most thoughtful miracle man.

When I got to work, I got the LAST parking space and I didn't have to valet my car.  #WINNING. (What a pathetic victory, but a victory nonetheless!) When I got to my floor, I ran into my co-worker Christi.  She just got back from maternity leave and she looks AWESOME.  It's very inspiring considering she just had baby #2.  I haven't ever been close with Christi and I couldn't really tell you much about her.  We just make basic small talk, but today Christi really touched my heart. She stopped me and asked if I needed any maternity clothes or baby items.  She is doing some cleaning and getting rid of things and wanted to know if I needed anything. I could have cried.  Thankfully, I have lots of fall items thanks to Elizabeth so I am set, but the gesture made me emotional.  She does have a bassinette she is giving away and I told her I would gladly take that off her hands.  One less thing on the registry and one more thing to make me feel prepared for the little girl, which is the BEST feeling ever. To top it off, Christi sent me an email subject: from mom to mom which told me insider secrets on area consignment shops and the upcoming tot swap in September.  Seriously - talk about being an awesome thoughtful person.

I really am so fortunate to work with the people I work with.  Elizabeth saved my day with the maternity clothes she gave me to use.  Jessica saved my sleep (minus last night thanks to that loveable pitbull of mine) by lending me her snoogle. Mickey gave me a maternity bathing suit from 20 years ago (not even kidding); and while I didn't end up using it in Florida, the gesture was so sweet and unexpected.  Monica always makes sure I am ok and my feet aren't swollen and I have what I need to prop them up and she always checks to make sure the little girl is ok and I have an afternoon snack. Emily, Donna, Kendra and Paige offer constant support and laughs.  Caitlin makes sure that I keep my sanity and that I always eat lunch - something I am generally really bad at because I tell Brandon (who asks every day if I need lunch) that I don't need lunch. And I don't know where I would be without my team: Azure, Sheila, Rachel and Jordan.  I am SO lucky. All of these incredible women, and others that I work with, were such a support system when I was going through treatment and now that I am pregnant - they have been my absolute lifelines. They are there for everything from secret ultrasound scans, to where to find the best deals on clothes and baby things, to making sure my registry has things on it I will actually need/will use, to encouraging me when I feel like a whale and making me laugh so hard I am convinced I might pee my pants.

It might have been a rough start to the day, but thanks to some of the wonderful people I have in my life - I think I might just survive hump day. Weird.

25 weeks!

How far along: 25 weeks! 15 weeks to go!

Baby is the size of: a head of cauliflower :)

Weight gain: Welp, I learned at my appointment yesterday that I have gained 15 pounds since I got pregnant.  Considering, the average pregnancy weight gain is 25-40 pounds, I think we're doing ok at 25 weeks into this. However, I have already started planning my post-baby work-out. [Sorry Pinterest followers - I know my pins have been really work-out fueled lately!] Also, I have been told that I am looking all baby which also makes me feel pretty good about the weight gain.

The bump and belly button: are there... or not there, in the case of my belly button. I have a serious bump depending on what I am wearing.  Sometimes it looks enormous, other times it's not so bad.  Regardless, my belly button is almost just flat - it's so weird.

Maternity Clothes: yesterday to work I did not wear a single maternity item, minus my belly band, which was cool. It makes me feel good to be able to wear real people clothes still. Don't get me wrong - I LOVE my maternity pants, but the little ego boost I got from wearing some pre-pregnancy clothes was nice for a Monday. I will be on the hunt this week for some maternity jeans.  Friday we have a casual Friday fundraiser and I will need some jeans for that.

Symptoms/Sleep: Depending on the day, I have swollen feet. I haven't had a day where my feet have scared me though, so that's a plus.  I have to pee way more often than I would like to admit.  Sunday night I went to the bathroom before bed and seriously not even 45 minutes later I had to get up to pee again.  What is that about?!  The leg cramps come and go and I like it better when they are gone. I have some lower back pain, but Dr. Masiky said that if I do some stretching that should help.  

Food Cravings: Yesterday I had a real deal craving.  Not a doubt about it.  I wanted a whopper from Burger King.  I gave in and it was everything I wanted and more. I had a very serious sweet tooth last week, but this week it hasn't been there so much.  I think because my face broke out a little bit thanks to the sugar and now I am more concerned about that not getting worse than having a sweet treat. Ugh. I finally replaced my face scrub that the TSA stole from me, so that's seriously helping me out.

What I miss: still nothing in terms of food and lifestyle.  HOWEVER, this nice weather has made me miss Fall.  I am REALLY looking forward to the Fall. The weather in the morning has been comparable to fall mornings and it is really making me miss that time of year and football season.  Just have to wait a couple more weeks and then we will be in business :)

Wedding Rings: still on! Yay! I just have to make it another 15 weeks with these little babies on! We'll see what happens!

Baby Names: UGH! I went to Buy Buy Baby the other day to buy the letters to hang the little girl's name on the wall - still not telling :) - and they only had one I and one L. SERIOUSLY?! They have plenty of B's, Q's and U's - BAH! I ended up just ordering her letters online.  HA! Take that stupid store.

Movement:  Sunday was a little slow, but today has made up for it.  She is definitely doing ok - her heartbeat was so strong at our appointment on Monday.  There really is nothing better than feeling her move. Dr. Masiky said that I shouldn't expect too much consistent movement since she is still small, but that should change in the coming weeks.

Best Moment of the Week: It was nice to get to see some of Brandon's side of the family on Saturday for Brittany's bridal shower.  Hard to believe how quickly that wedding is approaching! 

What I am most looking forward to: We have our childbirth class on Sunday and I am really looking forward to it!  Also - I am off on Monday so I am pretty excited to check out the new HomeGoods and spend some quality time with Brandon at the lake :)

24 Weeks!

Between Florida, work and then turning around and heading to Williamsburg, I didn't quite get a chance to post last week about the pregnancy.  Holy crap has it been busy and it doesn't look like life is going to really slow down any time soon...

How far along: 24 weeks - 6 MONTHS! On Tuesday, Jordan and I celebrated viability day! Basically, once the baby gets to 24 weeks, the NICU can work miracles and help a baby who is born 16 weeks early. So while I would obviously love to make it to 40 weeks and deliver on 11-12-13, it's nice to know that we have crossed a major hurdle when it comes to the safety of the unborn babe :)

Baby is the size of a: cantaloupe. YUM.  She is also the size of a $5 footlong.

The bump & belly button: are not looking nearly as scary as I would have thought by now.  Some things I wear make me look crazy preggers, then some things I wear minimize the size of the bump.  I was told over the weekend when Michelle and I went to Motherhood Maternity that the way my t-shirt fit looked like the way the shirts fit on the mannequin and I was carrying like one of the "I wish my pregnancy looked like that" mannequins.  Needless to say, I am holding on to those compliments as long as I possibly can!  That little ego boost definitely made getting dressed this morning a whole new experience!

Maternity Clothes: I am officially rocking the maternity work pants and I am in love.  I have gotten so many compliments on them and they feel SO good.  It's nice to look like a real person when pregnant and to FEEL like a real person when pregnant.

Symptoms/Sleep: Holy Swollen Feet.  They don't happen all the time - just when I sit for too long or when I am in the extreme heat for too long. On Friday, after being in the car for over 5 hours, my feet were balloons. Not pretty. Sleep has been wonderful when I have the snoogle.  This weekend my sleep was a little questionable, but clearly I survived. Oh! And I still have leg cramps in the middle of the night.

Food Cravings: I don't think that I crave things, but I have favorite things that I have been eating more of than usual, if that makes sense.  I have been loving fruit the last week or so and coconut. I had a sub from Continental pizza in Kensington last week and would be happy to eat one every day forever, so maybe there is a craving (however, this was pretty much the case before I got pregnant too)... but I won't do anything about it because I am not so desperate for one that I am going to drive to Kensington to get it. 

What I miss: nothing this week.  I am able to have the occasional glass of red wine and that's the only thing I think I would really miss around now.  The closer it gets to fall though, the more I realize that pretty soon I am going to be missing my favorite fall beers.  Thank goodness I just have to make it to middle of November and then I am partake in some of my favorite fall treats: spiked apple cider and Jack's pumpkin spice beer.

Wedding Rings: on :) I am very conscious of this and make sure to do things to avoid having to lose my ability to wear my rings.  I feel terrible without them on.

Baby Name Ideas: we know the little girl's name and I plan on buying the letters this weekend for Brandon and I to hang :)  Very excited to get her name on the wall.  Just a few more weeks until we announce it!

Movement: there has been tons.  She is a very active baby when she wants to be. I love when people get to feel her kick. Michelle got to feel her over the weekend which was exciting for both of us :)  The other night while we were laying in bed, not only did Brandon get to SEE a big kick, he got to FEEL a big kick too.  I loved the "holy shit" reaction he had with his huge blue eyes that really said it all.

Best Moment of the Week: I have had a few of them... The compliments from the lady at Motherhood Maternity were a highlight (of not just my week, but really my pregnancy - sometimes compliments just mean more coming from strangers because they don't have to tell you that you look good). I got a lot of compliments on my maternity pants, so that makes me feel good too. And the rep from Prosperity pharmacy told me that I look tiny for 24 weeks, so that also inflated my ego.  Hmm.. sounds like most of my highlights are vain and shallow. Let's not get too judgey about it... I am totally ok with it.

What I am most looking forward to: my upcoming 4 day weekend! I have to work on Sunday 7/28 and on Saturday 8/10, but it's totally worth it to have four days off where the only thing on our plate is our childbirth classes. I am also really looking forward to installing the new light in the kitchen, hanging the little girl's name on the wall in the nursery, organizing the pantry and rearranging the furniture in the basement and the living room... ahhh the nesting as officially begun :)

22 weeks!

Hello from my parent's kitchen in sunny Florida!! Little girl had her first plane ride and I think she did quite well... especially considering she wasn't able to scream and cry on the plane (one of my biggest fears for future travel with the small human), at least not and be heard by anyone/anything except my internal organs.  You'll have to forgive the lack of chalkboard and picture this week. However, I promise to post pictures from the trip!

How far along: 22 weeks, 3 days.

Baby is the size of: a Papaya!  OR better yet... a barbie!! She is about 10.5 inches long and can weigh anywhere from 12.7 to 20.8oz... I am not going to lie, I am really praying she is closer to 12.7 at this point.  I am not trying to push out a 10 pound baby in just 18 short weeks.  

Here's to hoping she is less of a diva than this Barbie doll...

The Bump & Belly Button: the bump is definitely bumping. It has really popped in the last couple weeks - holy crap. I am quite thankful that my belly button is still looking like a belly button... this week anyways.

Maternity Clothes: a little this, a little that, but while I am in Florida I plan to hit up the motherhood maternity outlet and get some pants.  I need to just break down and do it.

Symptoms/Sleep: Biggest pregnancy "symptom" right now is that whole peeing what seems like every five minutes thing.  Good gracious. As far as sleep goes, thanks to the snoogle I am able to get some really awesome sleep... you know, besides that whole waking up in the middle of the night to pee thing.  Oh! And the leg cramps - holy leg cramps at night. It is unreal. These are the things people really don't tell you about.

Food Cravings: I still can't say for sure that I have had cravings of any kind.  I have had a sweet tooth this week, but only for certain things.  I would really love a magic bar with the chocolate chips and the coconut, but not to the point where I would go out of my way to get one or be upset if I don't get one.  I may forget... however, if Monica decided she wanted to make them, I wouldn't be opposed to eating one... or seven.  Yesterday, my dad (who knew I had been craving coconut) got me some coconut fudge ice cream that I am dying to get into.  I am sure I will let you all know all about it when I do...

What I miss: this past weekend at the family crab feast, I missed an ice cold Coors light. They looked so dag-gone refreshing. I am sure being in Florida, I am going to miss being able to partake of the cocktail hour because my dad can make a mean margarita... and pina colada... and daiquiri... and really any drink known to mankind.

Wedding Rings: welp, it's happening. my rings are getting tight. My engagement ring is still on and feels great. Last night though, I had to take off my wedding band and put it on my necklace because my fingers were so swollen :( I blame the four mile walk yesterday moning... my fingers just never quite recovered from that point on! I was ok with that though because my calf muscles look good! (Vanity is a terrible thing.)

Baby Name Ideas: we have her named picked out :) just a few more weeks until we announce it!

Movement:  The little girl is moving like crazy and last night I saw her kick from the outside for the first time - holy crap! That was insane - I cannot wait for Brandon to see it happen!

Best Moment of the Week: on Tuesday I got free lunch at Qdoba and that was pretty awesome... definitely one of the best moments of my week, having lunch yesterday with my parents and a beach view was also pretty wonderful too. Best of all, I think has been getting to see my parents and spend some time with them.

What we are looking forward to: Michelle and I will be in Florida for another 4 days and I am really enjoying seeing my parents and their friends (especially their neighbor Joanie) and getting to spend some quality time with them.  I am a little anxious about being away from Brandon while I am this hormonal/emotional, but thanks to face-time I think I should be able to survive... at least I hope so.

21 weeks!

How far along: 21 weeks

Baby is the size of: a pomegranate

Total weight gain/loss: I had an appointment on Monday and it turns out, since starting this whole journey, I have only gained 9 pounds.  All in all, that's not too terrible considering over the 40 weeks, I am expected to gain anywhere from 25-40 pounds.  One of my co-workers gained 90 pounds with her first pregnancy, so only being up 9 pounds really doesn't make me feel too terrible. However, looking at my 10 week picture and my 21 week picture, I have noticed that I am starting to gain the weight in my face. Yikes. My big round face fear is starting to become reality.  Woof.

The bump & belly button: I definitely have a bump and I feel like most days it looks like I am pregnant and not pudgy.  Thank the good Lord I had such an innie belly button before. I think I might be able to get out of this pregnancy thing unscathed by the popped out belly button.  However, we still have another 19 weeks to go so I better not count my chickens before they hatch.

Maternity Clothes:  I am still in a good mix of both.  I am feeling incredibly blessed.  On Friday my co-worker Elizabeth brought in a bunch of her fall maternity stuff from her first pregnancy that she thought I might be able to use.  Then on Saturday, my mother-in-law bought a couple of adorable maternity tops for me.  I won't have to go naked after all! (Not that I was ever really worried about that...)  I am getting to the point where I am going to have to break down and seriously look for maternity pants.

Symptoms/Sleep: I had the weird swollen feet freak out, but I haven't really had them since then, so I think maybe it was the McDonald's breakfast :( Oh well, Brandon makes me breakfast every morning and it's a million times better.

Food Cravings: Nothing crazy - I am still a big fan of breakfast and I probably eat most of my calories for the day in the morning.

What I miss: nothing really - maybe my jean skirts for summer wear, but not to the point where I am going to cry about it.

Wedding Rings: still very comfortably rockin' the bling :)

Baby Name Ideas:  We have the name of our little girl picked out, but we're going to hold onto it for a little while longer - probably until the start of the 3rd trimester.  Brandon and I were told a story about his Aunt Patti and Uncle Jerry that made us laugh but also terrified that we will get sick of her name before she is born.  Brandon's cousin Brittany was going to be named Cassandra.  When Brittany was born, Brandon's mom (Lori) asked how baby Cassandra was doing only to find out there was no Cassandra.  Lori panicked thinking something had gone wrong only to find out that they just decided they didn't like the name Cassandra anymore.  And to be honest, I really cannot picture Brittany as a Cassandra.  Moral of the story: the little girl is going to have that name for the rest of her life so we better not overuse it early and then get stuck in the delivery room trying to come up with a new name because we're sick of the first pick :) 

Movement: I am starting to feel her more and more.

Best Moment of the Week: Shopping for the little girl at the outlets over the weekend was so much fun.  It was so nice to get to spend some quality time with my in-laws.  Brandon was so excited to show his mom all of the improvements and upgrades we've made to the house.  It was an awesome visit and I am really happy things fell into place.

What we are looking forward to:  I don't know about Brandon but there are quite a few things I am looking forward to:

• a Wiser cousins crab feast reunion this coming weekend
• visiting my parents in Florida from 7/10 - 7/15 with Michelle :)
• Williamsburg with Michelle the weekend of the 19th (lots of DNA bonding coming up!)
• our childbirth/newborn care/infant CPR classes with Childbirth-n-Babies in August!
• Football Season (what... too soon?)
• my baby shower :)
• Maternity Pictures - I have already started to pick out what I am going to wear! I just need to make my way to DTorr in Madison, New Jersey (which just happens to be owned by the little girl's Godmother) to get some statement jewelry :)
• an ice cold Jack's Pumpkin Spice beer (seriously - I am definitely ready for the fall and pumpkin things and an ice cold post-baby pumpkin beer... YUM)