Weekending | the fair, fall festival and a new car

This weekend was definitely one for the books. We went to the fair on Friday night (terrible idea), the Gaver Farm Fall Festival on Saturday and on Sunday we went car shopping. It was such a fun weekend, but I am exhausted today. 

Friday afternoon I picked Tim up from school and we headed back to our house. The kids were so excited to see each other which meant their ability to listen was gone. It took us what felt like forever to wrangle the kids out the door to go to the fair. The kiddos loved seeing the different animals. Tim was totally fearless. Natalie, on the other hand, was such a little chicken shit. After seeing the animals, we checked out the farm equipment and both kids loved climbing onto the big tractors. 

these two have the cutest bond ever :)

Saturday afternoon, we met up with Michelle, Mr. Jon, Ms. Kim and Tim at Gaver Farm for an afternoon of feeding goats, corn mazes and silo slides. The weather was absolutely perfect and we had the best day. I am utterly in love with Gaver farm and am happy we made it a family tradition to go every year :) I also learned that Mr. Jon's family gets their tree there every year and you can bet we'll be tagging along for that experience!

Sunday we had plans to test drive a car thanks to the accident. Test drive. However, within seconds of opening the driver side door, I was in love and knew I did not want to go home without it. We spent over three hours at the dealership and our little pink princess was AMAZING. She played quietly, put on a dance performance and was an all around rockstar the entire time. B and I could not have been more pleased with her.

someone picked out her own outfit on Sunday :)

So now we are all still a little tired from a fun-packed weekend and coming down with colds but we had such a great time welcoming in our favorite season with our favorite people. 

the end of the equinox

So I mentioned in my recap of our anniversary weekend that I had been in a car accident. The whole process has been so incredibly draining and it has felt like a bad dream.

On the Tuesday after Labor Day weekend I was coming home from work, it was a little after 4pm, and I was rear ended about 6 minutes from work. The whole thing is a blur and happened so fast. I remember coming up on a red light and slowing down and then I vaguely remember the light turning green and then almost immediately after that the car behind me rear-ending me.  I remember the cars around us slowly creeping by afterwards.  The driver hit my car with such force that I hit the car in front of me and she, in turn, hit the car in front of her. The driver who caused the accident was unlicensed and driving a vehicle that did not belong to her.  My poor car was pretty banged up after the fact and had to be towed from the scene. I was devastated. I spent much of the next three days in tears.

As if things could not get worse, I found out later that evening that the driver had been drunk. After I was cleared to leave the scene, the responding officer had a personal space encounter with the girl who rear-ended me which prompted the officer to run a field sobriety test, which the driver failed.  Later on the police did a breathalyzer test on the driver. She blew a .12.  The legal limit in the state of Maryland is a .08. 

The following day, I filed the claim with my insurance. I have had nothing but incredibly positive experiences with All State and cannot say enough good things about them. A little later in the day I got a phone call from the insurance company of the car that hit mine. The agent asked me to describe the accident. I did. She told me that her insured had provided a much different story. Her insured said that I was swerving all over the road, that I cut her off and that caused her to rear-end me. She left out the other two vehicles in the accident. I paused and asked the agent to clarify who her insured said was driving. The agent said that her insured said that she was driving the vehicle. I was quick to correct the agent and provide her with the contact information of the driver who was not the insured. I felt like the nightmare was never ending. 

By Friday, my back was even more sore. Sitting at work was causing stiffness. Picking up Natalie was painful. Something needed to give. We popped into urgent care for a quick visit and I had to have about a dozen x-rays taken. My knee had a vicious contusion from where it hit the steering column. My back was inflamed and sprained. I was given prescription Aleve and a muscle relaxer and instructed not to pick up anything over 15lbs for the next 2 weeks.

Urgent Care Selfies :)

Finally, a little more than a week and a half later, my car was looked at by the insurance adjuster. Why did it take so long? Oh you know, they lost my car. The insurance company couldn't locate my vehicle. They were adamant that they did not lose my car, per se, but let's be serious, if y'all couldn't find it, it was lost. It had been towed to one lot, moved to another and then finally moved to the police impound lot.  Lovely. 

The adjuster left a voicemail on Friday afternoon saying my car had been looked at but I was too scared to listen to it since we were at the beach.  I didn't want our weekend ruined by the news that my car was totaled. When I got the call on Monday afternoon I had a figure in my head of what my car was worth. Steven from All State (who was the nicest man alive) slowly went over the damage with me. He said that there was about $7500 worth of visual damage. My immediate reaction: Shit.  "Is everything okay, Mrs. Wilkinson?" "It's totaled isn't it?" Poor Steven was trying to give me time to mentally prepare and understand everything and I needed him to just rip the band-aid off. "I was trying to ease into that news, but yes, it is." The news was followed by quite a few more tears. Poor Steven.

Monday after I got home, I pulled open the file cabinet and found my title and the paperwork saying that I had paid off my car in March of 2014. I cried some more. The idea of taking on another car payment makes me sick to my stomach. Tuesday morning I made copies. I needed a memento of my first car and the proof that one time I bought a vehicle all by myself. I dropped the originals of the paperwork in the mail on my way to the police impound lot to clean out my car for the very last time. When I got to the impound lot, I was informed that just an hour earlier my car had been moved to another lot... over an hour away. Cue the waterworks. After many phone calls with the insurance company and lots of crying later, I made my way to Finksburg to clean out my car. I cried most of the way there. I cried in the office. I cried cleaning out my car and then I cried most of the way home. I am really not sure how I had any tears left in me to cry. 

Wednesday afternoon I spent my lunch hour at the MVA returning my tags. Somehow, I found a way to cry some more. However, on the upside, I got a call from Allstate on my way back to work that the girl's insurance found her at fault and accepted the claim. I will be getting my deductible and the check for my car in the mail next week and we can go car shopping. I am beyond ready to put this whole thing behind me. I have desperately been trying to find the good and rise above, but I'll tell y'all, it is not easy. I keep telling myself that by the girl hitting my car, I may have saved someone else's life. I was hit by a drunk driver and I walked away with a sprained back. I am incredibly lucky because there are plenty of drunk driving accidents that don't end that way.  And while I was so not ready to break up with my car, I am fairly certain my husband would much rather a car payment than a funeral to plan. So we'll continue to try to find the good and rise above. I am sure with time it will get easier :) 

thoughts for Thursday | infertility sensitivity

It is absolutely no secret that I am a self-proclaimed infertility warrior and proud of it; however, no one chooses to be infertile. No one chooses to try for a baby for months on end with no hope in sight. No one chooses to watch countless friends have "oops" babies that happened "one drunken night" while they cry themselves to sleep praying for a positive pregnancy test. No one decides "oh hey, you know what, I want to pay thousands of dollars to have a baby". No one happily agrees to be poked and prodded and have countless blood tests done to try and pinpoint the right time for treatment. No one is happy to struggle with infertility.  In fact, happiness during fertility treatment was a conscious decision I made every. single. day. I made a point to find the good and the happy during treatment to make the best of a shitty situation. 

I say all of that, to share a little story.  Yesterday morning when I went to get my coffee I overhead one of the most upsetting conversations which sparked this post. I wish I had been the type of person who could interject themselves into the conversation of complete strangers because I watched a woman's face fall and her heart literally break at her friends heartless and insensitive commentary. And I watched her friend continue to talk, completely oblivious to the woman's obviously hurt feelings.

Woman A: So we got the call yesterday that the insurance is covering all of the fertility treatment but I think we want to start with IUI and go from there.

Woman B: Wait, IUI? Is that the turkey baster kind or the test tube baby kind?  

Woman A: (CLEARLY upset by her friends comment) What?

Woman B: That's how my mom described the options to her friends when my brother and his wife went through treatment. He was super annoyed by those descriptions but whatever, it's so accurate. So, is IUI turkey baster or test tube?

I grabbed my coffee and left before I heard Woman A's response. My heart aches for her. However, I am not sure who I pity the most: woman A who is clearly going through something that is difficult and seeking comfort from a friend, woman B who is clearly an idiot or woman B's brother because his family is so insensitive. 

So my plea to anyone reading today is this: PLEASE think before you speak. While infertility is incredibly common, it is still an incredibly taboo topic and it is amazing how cruel people can be about it. If a friend is opening up to you about infertility and her treatment, be cautious with your response. You have no idea how hard it might be for her to talk about it.  Chances are good she spent a lot of time debating sharing this information with you at all. She may have been scared of your response and any judgment she felt might come with her situation. So if you have a friend experiencing infertility and she has picked you as her person, be gentle with your words and her feelings. It will mean more to her than she will ever be able to express. 

So the moral of the story here is:

Beach Weekend | photo dump

Back in July, Mr. Jon suggested we all go to the beach for a long weekend of relaxing. His family has a house in Bethany that is absolutely gorgeous and perfectly stocked for a weekend getaway.  (Seriously, Jon's mom, Ms. Kim, has thought of literally everything. We did not need to bring a thing!) A beach weekend with my favorite people? Count me in.  As the trip got closer though, it seemed like maybe it might not be the best idea. However, with the way the last month and a half has gone, we desperately needed the weekend away. 

Thursday afternoon B went to take the dogs for their Bordetella shots at the kennel and we found out that Hank's rabies vaccine had expired about two weeks ago. Panic set in and we scrambled to come up with a back-up plan. B called around to the local vets offices to see who could update the dogs' vaccines. Meanwhile, I was picking Natalie up and mentioned it to our daycare provider, Cheryl. Cheryl then voluntold her son, Conner, to watch the dogs. I called B to share the good news. Not only did this mean we could leave earlier for the beach, we also wouldn't have to leave super early Sunday morning to pick up Hank and Gemma by 11 and the dogs would be in a familiar location. This seemed like a win all the way around. 

So Thursday so threw everything into the car and headed down to Bethany for the weekend. Natalie was such a trooper on the way down... even if we did have to stop for a bathroom break about 40 minutes into the ride. We spent the weekend playing with Mr. Jon's dog, Kilo, shooting hoops, eating all of Ms. Kim's lollipops and soaking in the last of the summer sun at the beach.  The weather was absolutely perfect and the company was even better.  

shooting hoops with Daddy :)

who wore the size 5T Nirvana shirt better?

Celebrating the birthday girl with mimos

Me, Michelle, Monique

We even managed to have family pictures done while we were there (thanks Monique!!) and I cannot wait to share some of the family pictures with y'all! I am utterly in love with how they turned out! Today it's back to reality and waiting on the final verdict about my car. Hopefully later this week I'll get around to posting about the accident.

Hope y'all had a good weekend!

Anniversary Weekending

This past weekend Brandon and I celebrated five years of wedded bliss... well, five years of marriage :) The last five years have had quite a few ups and downs and we have had to work at our marriage but, at the end of the day, there is no one I would rather be married to. 

This last year of marriage has been particularly hard.  We have learned that it's not always going to be easy and it is critically important that we communicate and are brutally honest with each other. We have put a lot of work into our marriage, especially in the last six months and honestly, I have to say, the last month has been the best month of our marriage. After Brandon's near death experience, we put a lot of things into perspective and have put more effort into our marriage than ever before and we have both seen and felt a difference which made celebrating this past weekend so much more meaningful. 

Friday we both took the day off work so we could spend the day together as a family. We had planned to take Nat into DC to the National Zoo for the first time. However, thanks to a recent car accident (more on that when things settle down), I had to go to the doctors for a check-up.  We dropped Natalie off at my sister's house and she didn't even notice when we left!

Nothing says romance like urgent care selfies

this guy gives me all the heart eyes :)

After my doctor's appointment, we stopped into the grocery store to pick up pierogies and kielbasa for dinner. We went home, popped open a bottle wine and settled in to watch Bonnie and Clyde. Three days later and I am still not sure if I enjoyed that movie or not. It had originally aired as a two-part mini-series on the History channel in 2013 and I think we would have been better off watching it in 2 days/2 parts. 

Saturday morning we slept in and then leisurely got ready and headed to brunch at Eggspectation. I am in love with their eggs benedict and Brazilian coffee. Yum. B got an omelet and an Irish coffee (which I ended up finishing for him!). After breakfast we walked around the little downtown area and even stumbled upon a splash pad that I cannot wait to take Natalie back to before the fall weather really sets in!

We spent the rest of Saturday enjoying adult beverages and college football. It was nice to be able to watch an entire afternoon of football without a single interruption for snacks, a tablet to be recharged or the sound of Jake and the Neverland Pirates.

Alabama won their home opener which made for one happy little lady and was a lovely anniversay gift from them, if I do say so myself :)  B made us steak and baked potatoes for dinner. We had purchased creamed spinach but totally forgot about it until after the fact. I was sore from the accident so B slathered bengay on my back and we were (pathetically) in bed by 9pm. Right in time for Shawshank Redemption to start! #winning However, I don't remember watching much passed the opening credits.

We slept in again on Sunday and didn't get out of bed until almost 9. Clearly our bodies were trying to make up for almost three years of lost sleep! We enjoyed some absolutely perfect felt like fall weather and a cup of coffee on the deck before I went down to my sister's house to pick up Natalie. While not a very eventful weekend, it was just the kind of weekend we needed after the last month. 

Cheers to a lifetime, Mr. Wilkinson :)

five down, a lifetime to go

Happy 5th Anniversary to my husband, Brandon. We have always said that our wedding day was not at all the day we dreamed it would be and very few things went smoothly, but one thing did go exactly as planned: we were married at the end of it.

It hasn't always been pretty or easy and this last year was full of so many ups and downs, but, at the end of the day, home will always be where you are.  So let's toast to a lifetime and let's walk hand in hand and we will build a love that's timeless.

I love you to the moon and back, Mr. Wilkinson.

the new play-set + a nightmare

Sam's club recently had a sale on their big playground sets. B and I have been talking about getting one since we put an offer in on our current home. We have a big backyard that was just waiting to have one set up! We called our parents and Nat's aunt and uncle and asked if they wanted to go in on one for a group birthday gift.  Everyone was on board! It was too perfect! And I should have known it was too good if it was that easy.

We went online the morning of the super sale (oddly enough, the same day as the bee incident) and the play-set we wanted was sold out. I was totally bummed. B and I talked about it and since we had already decided to bite the bullet and we had the money, we might as well get a play set! We picked our runner up that had installation included in the price. Another too good to be true sign. 

the runner up: the Cedar Peak Playset

We were called by the installation company within a week. They said that they were going to deliver and set-up the play set. I was floored. I confirmed "delivery and set up?" and was assured that was the note in our account. Thursday, August 11 rolls around and the installation guy, Chris, shows up in a Camry. Clearly, he was not delivering the play set. And neither was anyone else that day. Chris gave us a business card and told us to call him when the play set was delivered.

Over the course of the next week the installation company called me half a dozen times to set up installation for a play set that had not even been delivered. Every time I would tell them that I would call THEM when the play set had arrived. I also asked if I could work directly with the installer who had come to my house. I was given the green light to do so since he had provided me with his contact information. They told me to work with him on a mutually agreeable date and then to call and let them know the confirmed date/time. Perfect! 

The play set was finally delivered on August 19.  I called Chris on my way home that day to set up installation. My sister was able to take off work on August 25th to be at my house and that day worked well for him. Easy peasy. But wait, he was having a problem finding our order in his queue. I told him I would call the company, find out the problem and call him back. After 20 minutes on the phone with Go Configure, 12 of those being on hold, I learned that Chris was no longer contracted with the company and a regional assistant manager would be out on August 29 to do the install. Well, ok then. I called Chris back and let him know that his contract with Go Configure was terminated and that another person would be handling our account moving forward. Talk about awkward. I essentially had to fire someone for the installation company and on a Friday. I felt terrible.

August 29 finally rolls around. My sister took the day off work to be at our house for the installation. I woke up with a feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was going to go wrong. I started calling the company at 7 in the morning. Finally, at 9:40AM, 10 minutes after they were supposed to arrive at my house, the company calls and said that the assistant manager was having car trouble and would not be coming. My sister drove over an hour in morning rush hour traffic for nothing. I was beyond irritated. I was told that we would be getting an "adjustment compensation" after the installation occurred. An appointment was set up on Saturday, September 3. 

The two men who were sent to install the play-set were a little rough around the edges and probably smoked at least a pack of cigarettes while at my house, but they got the job done in about 4.5 hours, were incredibly patient with my decision to move the play-set halfway through the build and created a final product that is absolutely beautiful. 

Natalie could not wait to get out to her "park" and we spent the majority of Saturday playing outside and enjoying the new play-set.  We had absolutely perfect weather for it!

So while it was such a frustrating process, and we're waiting on the final adjustment compensation, the end result was worth the struggle.

thoughts for Thursday | I hate bedtime

With everything that has been going on the last month, Natalie's bedtime routine has completely fallen by the wayside. Throw in the fact that we're getting rid of paci and things have been a little bit crazy at our house every night between 7pm and oh say 5am. #sendmeallthecoffee #letsnotforgetthewine With this in mind, Brandon and I opted to try a new evening routine. 

We were going to be a strict dinner at 6:30, bath time, lotion, snuggling and books in bed, lights out by 8.  No more tv for Natalie after dinner.  We're a week into things and our bedtime routine has looked nothing like that since day 3. Solid effort :) 

Last Wednesday Brandon picked Natalie up from daycare and took her right to the park to burn off some energy. She came home sweaty and tired. That night we ate dinner around 6:30, had Natalie in the bath by 7 and lathered her with lavender lotion when we got her out of the tub. We opted to try melatonin since Nat has had such a rough time falling asleep in her room without paci. We got her dressed and went into her room to snuggle. She had a total and utter meltdown. She kept telling us she wanted to "get out of here".  We finally gave in and took her into the playroom to lay down on the daybed. The melatonin kicked in and she was asleep by 8 and I had a successful from daybed to big girl bed transfer. Everything went smoothly... until she woke up at 1 in the morning to go potty. 

I took her potty, laid with her until 2:15 (she still wasn't asleep) and then I told her I had to go to bed and gave her a kiss goodnight. She lasted until, oh maybe, 2:17 when she started to call for me again. B went upstairs to get her (which did not go over well at all) and bring her to our bed. Nat didn't fall back to sleep until close to 4AM which means mama didn't fall asleep until after 4AM. That 5:08 alarm came entirely too soon. 

Thursday through Saturday went MUCH better. Thursday she not only slept through the night (in her own bed!) BUT she did NOT have paci AND she also woke up dry. She does that every morning but this was notable since we ran out of bedtime pull ups and she was wearing big girl panties to bed. I could not have been more excited on Friday morning. 

Sunday night we regressed. It was Brandon's night to put her to bed, his first one since changing up the bedtime routine. Needless to say, Natalie bullied him and she slept in our bed that night and no one got any sleep at all. Monday night B redeemed himself and bedtime went smoothly for them. 

Tuesday and Wednesday we got suckered into our old ways and snuggled and fell asleep watching tv  in the playroom. I did it Tuesday and B did it last night. While we want to cut out tv right before bed, this has been a long week and we're not going to break bad habits over night. I look at it this way, she has been sleeping in her own bed, WITHOUT paci, WITHOUT a pull-up, staying there *almost* all night, every night, AND she is waking up dry! A few mornings she has woken up at 4 with the need to go potty and, while it makes for a tough (and early) morning, it would be worse to wake up to a child in a wet bed or worse than that, a child in our bed. So we will continue to pick our battles.

And you know what's going to happen? We're finally going to master the bedtime routine and then daylight savings is going to roll around and ruin all our hard work. Oh well, we'll cross that bridge when we get there.