a letter to baby brother

It has been such an emotional roller coaster getting to this point. I have reflected so much about B and the amazing husband, father and friend he has been/is/will be. I have reflected so much about Natalie and how much I love her, am proud of her and am excited for her. It only feels appropriate to reflect a bit about this new baby and share my feelings as we begin this chapter of our story: a family of four.

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To my newest little love,

I cannot believe you're really here and that you have been here for 9 weeks and already my maternity leave has come to an end and today I start back at work. My pregnancy with you was incredibly emotional and I know part of the reason is because you're our last baby.  You are the last one I will carry. The last baby to hear my heartbeat from the inside. The last baby I will feel roll, twirl and kick and, my God, did you kick.  While your pregnancy wasn't easy and we definitely had quite a few bumps along the way, falling in love with you these last few weeks absolutely has been.   

I am trying so desperately to slow this time down, to soak in all of your tiniest moments because they are fleeting. I thought my pregnancy with you went by in the blink of an eye, but these nine plus weeks home with you have seemed so short and hazy. Even though I find myself grieving over the firsts and the moments that have been flying by us, I am filled to the brim with excitement about all of the firsts that are to come, especially your firsts that include your sister. Honestly, watching you and your big sister interact has quickly become one of my favorite things on the planet. She loves you so fiercely, we all do.

It is so strange to me to think that life existed before you. I don't remember a time without you in it.  You have completed our family, and completed me, in a way I didn't know possible.  It amazes me how effortlessly you fit into our family.  All of the fears and tears and guilt that I felt leading up to your arrival were so unnecessary. You were absolutely made exactly and perfectly for us, for me. My heart has expanded to depths I didn't even know were possible because of you. Every day you remind me that a mother loves infinitely.  Every day with you is such a privilege.

Just as I asked your sister to be patient as I learn this new world of two children, I ask the same of you.  I promise you that I am trying. Every day might not be a good day, but I promise that there will be good in every day. I may not be perfect, but I promise our family - you and me, Daddy and Nat - are perfectly intertwined, perfectly made for one another. I knew that you were so wanted, Everett Grey, but I had no idea how much I needed you. 

I love you beyond measure, little boy, and I cannot wait to watch you grow and learn.

Everett | Two Months

Age: two months!

Weight: 15lbs 9oz [Insert monkey covering eyes emoji here] This sweet babe was born a full pound less than his big sister and he has surpassed her 2 month weight by 2 lbs 7oz. 

Likes: bath time, story time with sissy, eating (obviously), the froggy chair, chewing on his hands

Dislikes: tummy time, sleeping through the night, shots

Milestones & Big Moments: smiles, oh his little baby smiles and the cooing :) this is such a sweet stage.

Looking forward to: Our apple orchard mini session with Liz Hough in a few weeks! 

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It has been a wild month. It is crazy to think that by this point with Natalie, I had been back to work for a couple weeks and this time around I have time left.  While I love the days that big sister is home with us, I especially enjoy our quiet days just the two of us. It is rare and so I try to live in those moments and focus on him.

Three o'clock is the witching hour. He is angry and fussy and mean, It lasts until about 5pm. I want to cry on those days. But when he finally settles down, he is snuggley and sweet. Thankfully, I get plenty of help from his sweet sissy before B gets home. 

We have been working on transitioning Everett to his crib at night which has meant that during the day, I am working on naps in his crib and at night we have tried to have him sleep in his pack n play in our room.  It is hard to keep up with it since he wakes every 1.5-2 hours when he sleeps in the pack n play at night but he will sleep up to 6 hours in the rock n play. And crib naps? Nope. They last all of 18 to 34 minutes. Brutal.   

These weeks fly by so quickly. It's hard to savor this time but I am excited to see what the next month brings :)

road trip | Everett's first trip to NJ

A couple weeks ago, B and I packed up the house and took the kiddos to NJ for a few days to see family and friends.  It has been so chaotic since then that this is my first chance to sit down and blog about it. We packed a whole lot into a few days and it took us even longer to recover from it all.

The ride up there was something out of a bad sitcom. We left at 9:30 in the morning and we did not get there until 5:07pm. It took us more than double the amount of time it should have. We were barely across the PA line when Natalie said she had to throw up. We pulled into an empty parking lot and B quickly got her out of the car. After a few minutes, she told us it was too hot to throw up outside and she didn't need to anymore. Not thirty minutes later, Everett was screaming bloody murder. We stopped for lunch south of Harrisburg. We got back in the car and made it to Cabela's. This is usually the safe place to stop since Nat does, in fact, get car sick and this breaks up the drive fairly evenly. After an hour at Cabela's, we were back in the car. We had barely crossed into NJ when she told us she had to throw up. Again, we stopped. Again, she didn't have to. We started on the road again and again she said she had to throw up. This time we stopped at Starbucks so I could get coffee too. Again, she did not throw up... and then the GPS took us on some roundabout way to get back on the highway. About 30 minutes from the hotel, Nat again said she had to throw up. This time B was not having it. We told her that she had made us stop too many times already with her false alarms. Not five minutes later, the child who cried puke, actually puked. All over my car on the side of 78 right before the exit for 287. During rush hour. And then had the nerve to calmly say to me, "I told you I was going to throwed up." We got her cleaned up and promised her we would be at the hotel soon and we could go to the pool. We FINALLY made it to the hotel... and the pool was closed. Fabulous. Like I said, a bad sitcom.

Tuesday night, B's brother Evan and his girlfriend, Allison, came over to meet the baby and have dinner. My girlfriend, Kerri, also came to visit that night to meet Everett since she was in town too. Somehow, I did not manage to take a single picture that night, other than the IG stories I posted which is especially a bummer since Evan and Kerri are Everett's Godparents.

Wednesday was a big day.  We started our morning at Turtle Back Zoo. We invited B's parents to come with us which was fun since they took B there when he was a kid. There were definitely highs and lows to the trip, but I think, overall, Natalie really enjoyed herself there.

After the zoo, we met up with my college roommate Dee at her community pool. Dee was the hero of the trip. Natalie was SO excited to go to the pool and swim and I was so excited to meet baby Layla!

Wednesday night we went to B's parents house for dinner. Evan's girlfriend, Allison, was there as well which made Natalie really happy. She is pretty obsessed with Allison.  Nat has struggled with sharing attention from B's family but Allison seems to understand that and, bless her heart, gives up her personal space for Natalie. I am not sure Nat could have gotten any closer to Allison during dinner or while they were watching a movie afterwards.

Thursday we went down the shore to visit B's grandparents. It was really great to see them since I hadn't been up for a visit in a little over three years. They live right on the bay and their back patio connects to their dock. We had the most gorgeous weather and Natalie got to try out her new fishing pole. I loved having Grandpa and Grandma meet Everett. It was super sweet to be able to get a picture of four generations of Wilkinson men. I know this was so important to B and I am happy that we could make a nice visit with them happen.

After lunch with Grandpa and Grandma, we head up to north Jersey to visit Danielle and Dee. As I mentioned in a previous post, Danielle was due in early August with her first. We got to see little baby JJ at just shy of a week old.  I loved getting to sit and have a glass of wine with my girlfriends; however, it was at Danielle's that Nat hit her wall of being able to keep her shit in check and so began the poor listening. Thank God for good girlfriends who love your kids even when they are being jerks.  Somehow, this picture that Natalie took is the only picture I have from our visit at Danielle's house but that kind of makes me love it more.

Friday morning we got up early and had plans to grab breakfast at the hotel. I guess B and I had hit our wall too so we simply grabbed coffee at Starbucks and got on the road. The drive home went MUCH better than the drive up and even with an hour and a half stop at Cabela's we made it home in less than 5 hours. It was a long few days but I am definitely glad that we were able to make the trip.

Newborn Pictures | Monique Michael Photography

When you essentially have a photographer in the family, you jump at the chance to have a million and ten family pictures done. Enter Monique from M&M Photography. There is no shame in my family picture game. None. I was really excited to have Monique come to our house and take some pictures of us in our element and I love how they turned out :)  Prepare for picture overload. #sorrynotsorry

swoon :)

I am especially in love with the pictures Mo took of our family of four :)

Oh, and how she captured my fur babies. For once they actually participated in a halfway decent manner!

my favorite picture with my mookie boy :)

If you live in the MD/DC/NoVA area and are looking to have pictures done - I promise you will not be disappointed if you work with Monique!