Third Month Favorites

1. Gap Paddington Bear Collection.  I grew up reading Paddington Bear so for Gap to come out with a line that includes one of my favorite childhood bears really made my month.  I love the footed pajamas and the steps to make a jam sandwich t-shirt.  It's perfect that I get to put Natalie in those Paddington jammies while reading her my favorite Paddington stories.

2. The Sure Comfort Deluxe Tub.  We got this as a shower gift and it is definitely wonderful now that the little miss is a little too big for her flower tub.  She loves bath time and it is so much fun.  This tub allows her to sit up and even splash a little which she seems to really enjoy as well.  I love that her tub is pink - I didn't love that at first but now that I am really embracing this whole girl thing, I am obsessed.  It can be found at Target and on Amazon. 

3. BreathableBaby Mesh Toys - Mr. Giraffe.  Natalie LOVES her giraffe.  It is easily her favorite toy.  She instantly lights up when she sees him.  Brandon and I often consider buying her the whole group (plus an extra giraffe in case Hank decides he wants to chew on the original)!  The toys are completely hypoallergenic and washable and totally affordable at only $7.99/toy.  You really cannot beat it.

4. Sophie the Giraffe. Thank goodness for Sophie.  She is a true friend to my drooly teething baby.  She soothes those little gums and her ears and head are the perfect size for Natalie's mouth.  She really enjoys chewing on poor miss Sophie. Sophie's neck is the perfect round size for Natalie to be able to get a really good grip too.  The poor giraffe takes quite a beating and is quite durable.  The fact that she squeaks is an added bonus... or annoyance since Hank seems to think Sophie is squeaking for him!

5. Baby Einstein Baby Neptune Ocean Adventure Play Gym.  This was a gift at my baby shower from one of my high school best friends, Kat.  I love this thing.  Natalie lays under it and has quiet play on an almost daily basis.  I love that she can entertain herself and work on her reaching and grabbing.  From my point of view - it's nice to be able to sit on the floor next to her while she plays, flipping through a magazine and making sure she is safe from the pups.  It allows me to recharge my batteries while making sure that she has some entertainment and educational stimulation. I am loving this stage with her :)

Florida bound with little Nat

My parents moved to Florida in the winter of 2010.  I guess Snowmagedeon was the final straw for them.  Every year since then, I have tried to take a trip down to see them.  In 2011, between wedding planning and you know, actually getting married, I didn't quite have the time to do it.  In 2012, Brandon and I spent his spring break in sunny Florida.  It was fun to show him where my parents live and to take him to all my favorite places down there.  It was April and the weather was gorgeous.  In 2013, Michelle and I went to Florida in July as a final girls' trip before little Natalie came along.  It was nice to get to spend some time with my sister and my parents during my pregnancy and before life as I knew it changed.  And now, in April of 2014, I am taking Miss Natalie on her first plane ride to go visit my parents.  Having a baby was like creating an instant travel companion and I am so excited about it :)

As excited as I am, I am also a little nervous about traveling with Natalie without Brandon, not because Natalie is a tough baby (because she isn't), but because this is unchartered territory.  I don't know much about this whole process so of course I have started planning, reading up on the TSA website and some baby blogs and figuring out details months in advance.  On the upside, I will have my mom with me for the flight to Florida.  She is coming up at the end of February to help care for Nat like Lori has done.

I have been warned about flying with small humans.  Both my older sister and one of the pharmacy reps I work with gave me the same warning: beware of the baby blow out.  Apparently my nephew and Jeff's son Cooper both had blow outs during the landing portion of their flights.  Crap. Literally.  Knowledge is power and I have come up with a plan that I think is fairly genius.  It might not be completely sane or even comfortable for Natalie, but it will help aid in the possible blow-out clean up and I am sure that Nattie can appreciate that.  I am going to take a puppy pad (it's ok to start judging me) and cut arm holes.  Then after putting a diaper on Natalie, I am going to wrap the puppy pad around her then dress her.  That will help contain the blow out - provided it even happens... which it will because it's just my luck.

The TSA has very basic general information on their website that I found incredibly helpful.  Little things like knowing Natalie won't have to take her shoes off to go through security and that I can gate check the stroller ease a lot of anxiety.  Babycenter.com has two articles that I found helpful.  One was on traveling with a newborn to 8-month old and the other was a checklist for packing.  And I love a good checklist. 

That being said I have started to make a checklist of things to do, yes I know it's over a month away, in order to help me prepare:

• Use my thirty-one Cindy tote as my diaper bag - something I really should be doing anyways - and have it double as my carry-on.  It's a bit bigger than my current diaper bag and the straps are a bit longer and more comfortable.  I think, overall, it will be easier to organize and carry. (Plus, I love that it is monogrammed)
• Buy diapers/wipes/formula online and have it shipped to my parents house.  This will save me tons of room in my bag, means less I have to pack and gives me the comfort of knowing that I have things ready to go at my parents house.
• Start putting aside things that we don't use every day that I want to bring with us.  I have several outfits already picked out in my head (plus her bathing suit!) that I can start to put aside for Natalie's bag. 
• Find a place where I can rent a pack-n-play for Natalie to sleep in for the week. I will obviously compare the cost to that of purchasing something, but want to know all my possible options. I looked into this and it was cheaper for me to BUY a pack-n-play for my parents house.  This will be nice to use whenever we go down there for the next 3 years... maybe longer if we have another one :)

It is taking a lot of energy to not drag out the suitcase and pack already.  Besides being so excited, I am completely OCD and want to have things done so I can re-do them approximately 1000 times before we actually go :) Here's the hoping I can keep calm and not let my OCD get the best of me.  I know with the right preparation and planning, this will be an easy trip and that Natalie and I will have a lot of fun visiting my parents :)

Three Months!

It's Valentine's Day eve and my little peanut is three months old already.  Seriously, where has the time gone?  I look at her newborn pictures sitting on my desk at work and I cannot believe how different she looks already.  She is really starting to lose that newborn look and each day I am amazed at how far we have come.

She is such a smart baby and she learns so quickly.  I am obsessed with milestones and love to see where Natalie falls in the scheme of things. I really like the developmental milestones section of the website HealthyChildren.org which is sponsored by the American Academy of Pediatrics.  It clearly lays out where Natalie should be by three months and it is interesting to discover the things that she does that I didn't even realize she was doing.  It also has a nice section that explains at what point I should ask the pediatrician about the milestones that she hasn't quite met.  I am happy to say that so far, we don't have any of those :)

Three Month Milestones

Natalie has hit or is on the brink of hitting all of these milestones.  I think it's funny that she has, without a doubt, hit every social milestone and excelled in them!  She is such a goofy, chatty little girl.  She basically has entire conversations and sometimes I really do think that she understands what we're talking about and saying to her.  She has the most expressive eyebrows of any baby I have ever met and I cannot get enough of her.  She is such a strong little girl - always kicking and squirming around while being held or while her diaper is being changed.  The other day when I was changing her diaper she reached her little arm out and grabbed one of her toys that was near by and pulled it towards her.  I cannot describe that feeling of "OMG my child is a small genius."  I was so incredibly proud of her and so impressed.

It has been such a big month for her too.  She has been getting to spend lots of time with her Nanny and her Farge even made the trip down to see her this month too.  She has also gotten to spend time with Kerri and Emily, her Godfather, and the Nowlins.  It was a very social month for the little miss.  Also -big news!  My little peanut rolled over all by herself.  It's funny that something like that is something I am bragging about endlessly.  Also, today on her big three month birthday, miss Natalie is experiencing one of the biggest snow storms in awhile.  We're already at 15+ inches!  Brandon and I took Natalie out in it and she seemed completely unfazed but she looked absolutely adorable in her pink coat!

...I cannot believe I ever wanted a little boy :)

the little miss with her Nanny and Farge :)

..right before she used that noggin to roll over!

15+ inches of snow and counting!

She absolutely loves to play with Mr. Giraffe and has also started to develop an interest in Miss Sophie the Giraffe.  I sense a trend there :)  She loves her puppy Hank and definitely notices when he has bad gas.  She really does make the best facial expressions.  She loves to chew on her hands and I am expecting that she will find her thumb any day now. Natalie definitely recognizes people and it's sweet the way she lights up when she sees Brandon :)  I really am so proud of all the little things she has already accomplished and as cheesey as it is, I am so excited to see what she will learn in the next month.  She really is so smart and she learns things to quickly. Ugh - I am such a proud mom. 

200 and counting...

I cannot believe the blog is celebrating 200 posts!  And what a roller coaster ride those 200 posts have been!  From the first post when I got engaged and started planning my wedding, to the actual wedding day and becoming a wife(!), to buying our first home, opening up about infertility and then the birth of Natalie - it's crazy how far we've come. 

Now 200 posts later, I have done quite a bit of reflecting about the blog and where to go from here.  I look back at the posts when I felt the needed to explain myself and my morals and I regret that.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, even if they don't align with our own.  After dealing with so much scrutiny for that, I know it's something that I want to make sure to teach Natalie - respect for people's opinions, morals and values.  It's crazy to read posts from the last three years and feel the excitement about getting married again, feel the anxiety of trying to have a baby and going through fertility treatment, feel that sigh of relief when we got pregnant and finally that surge of joy when Natalie arrived.  It's incredible to see how my relationship with Brandon has grown and evolved.  I guess that happens when you've known someone for the better part of a decade. Dang... that makes me sound so much older than I am.

What started as a simple "oh my God - I am getting MARRIED" blog has really evolved into something more.  I have shared so much of my life and who I am.  I am a wife, a homeowner, a career woman and a mother.  I mean - seriously? Now, I have the bling, beau (er... husband) and baby that I have always wanted. Does life get any better?

So where do I go from here?  After the recent loss of a good friend, I think I just want to slow things down and keep things a little more simple and upbeat.  While I know things aren't always going to be sunshine and rainbows, I want to try and live my life more positively.  I want to let go of all of the negative and toxic people and things and just hold onto the things that are important in life.  I want to write about our cozy little home and the redecorating, improving and remodeling we're doing along the way and the things that we're learning as first-time homeowners.  I want to write about Natalie and how much she is growing, changing and learning and all the things I want to teach her. I want to write about being a mom because it is so surreal and life-changing.  It is such an incredible privilege that so many take for granted.  I want to write about being a wife and my incredible, amazing, supportive husband.  I want to write about our little family: the holidays, the vacations and even the mundane day to day happenings.  I want to write about infertility and help people who are struggling to know that there is hope and there are people who understand.  And most of all, I want to write about learning how to live and love in this crazy world because losing Mike at such a young age was a reminder that this one life is all we have so we better take full advantage of it.

baby weight and body image perception

Positive body image perception is something that I have struggled with the majority of my life.  I still struggle with it from time to time as I try to lose the last of the baby weight.  I spent most of my high school years counting calories and trying to lose weight that, looking back, I really didn't have.  In college, I was constantly working out, dieting and/or eating obnoxiously small meals, trying to be as skinny as I could be because I thought skinny was beautiful and skinny was a goal that needed to be obtained.  When I look at pictures of myself in college, I want to go back in time, smack that girl and tell her to eat a cheeseburger.  


Danielle, Me, Kari and Emily
Fall 2005

I look back at how skinny I was and I can barely recognize that girl.  I never want my daughter to feel the need to be that skinny.  It's funny the things that become important once you have a child.  Things I never knew I wanted to protect my child(ren) from weigh so heavy on my mind and on my heart.  I never want Natalie to feel the way that I felt.  I never want Natalie to think the way that I did.

Throughout college and for several years after college, I went to different therapists to try to combat my negative body image perception.  I am so incredibly thankful for the help I received there, but also for Brandon who has always made me feel beautiful regardless of how I think I look.  He always reinforced a positive body image for me and he helped me to turn things around.  With his help, I put a focus on eating and being healthy and feeling and looking good in my jeans, instead of worrying about the size of said jeans.  

Summer 2008

Fall 2011

33 weeks pregnant with Natalie (2013)

December 2013 - 3.5 weeks after having Natalie

The progression to being healthy and happy with my body happened slowly, but now I look more like a person and less like a girl desperately in need of a cheeseburger.  I relapsed a little bit when I was gaining my pregnancy weight, and constantly beat myself up for how terrible I thought I looked.  Again, Brandon was a constant source of support.  He was constantly encouraging me and refocusing my negative energy.  He took the focus from how "fat" I thought I was and put the focus on the fact that I was growing a baby, our baby.  He never once (intentionally) made me feel like I wasn't beautiful.

I recently read an article by Kasey Edwards called "When Your Mother Says She's Fat".  So much of this article rang true for my own childhood.  If you don't have time to read it, then I will give you a quick summary, but highly recommend going back to give it a read.  Kasey basically says that when she was 7 years old her mother told her that she (the mother) was "fat, ugly and horrible" and it had to be true because mother's don't lie. Here are a few excerpts from the article:

Years later, I looked back on this conversation and the hundreds that followed and cursed you for feeling so unattractive, insecure and unworthy. Because, as my first and most influential role model, you taught me to believe the same thing about myself.

- - - - -  

Now I understand what it’s like to grow up in a society that tells women that their beauty matters most, and at the same time defines a standard of beauty that is perpetually out of our reach. I also know the pain of internalising these messages. We have become our own jailors and we inflict our own punishments for failing to measure up. No one is crueler to us than we are to ourselves.

- - - - -   

And it’s not just about you and me any more. It’s also about Violet. Your granddaughter is only three and I do not want body hatred to take root inside her and strangle her happiness, her confidence and her potential. I don’t want Violet to believe that her beauty is her most important asset; that it will define her worth in the world. When Violet looks to us to learn how to be a woman, we need to be the best role models we can. We need to show her with our words and our actions that women are good enough just the way they are. And for her to believe us, we need to believe it ourselves.

I am in no way saying that my mother is the reason for my eating disorder, but I would be lying if I said she was not a contributing factor.  I remember countless conversations where my mother would tell me how lucky I was to be "such a skinny minny".  I remember the countless fad diets my mom did from Atkins to South Beach to Richard Simmons (sorry for outing you, Liz).  It wasn't just my mom though, who I am happy to say has developed a healthy living plan and looks and feels fabulous now.  I dated guys who put a focus on how skinny I was and said I wouldn't look as good to them if I gained any weight. On top of that, I went to an all-girls' high school that, while amazing and truly a positive overall experience, also subconsciously put pressure on me to look a certain way.  I was warned so heavily about the "freshman 15" that I made it a point to lose weight freshman year, not gain it.

Now, as I watch Natalie grow and I pressure myself to lose the last of the baby weight, body imagine perception is something that has been weighing heavy on my mind.  How do I prevent the negative body image I had from happening to my daughter?  I don't really know.  It's all uncharted territory.  I know that I have to live a healthy lifestyle the way my mom is now, and not project my own negative body image on Natalie, the way my mom unknowingly did on me.  I know I have to show her that there are all different kinds of beauty and that beautiful comes in all shapes and sizes.  I can't always protect her from outside influences, but I can try my hardest to help her not let any negative comments ruin her.  Honestly, I am so relieved and so happy that Natalie, too, has Brandon to encourage her and tell her how beautiful a person she is the way he has always done for me.  I know with Brandon in her corner, she will always know how smart, strong and wonderful she is, can be and will be.

Hospital Bag Re-Do

Two weekends in a row, someone I know has given birth.  First it was Brandon's cousin Derek's wife, Nicole, giving birth to their son, Kyle.  This past weekend my friend Kris' wife, Daianna, gave birth to their son, Noah.  And pretty soon, my friend Rachel will be giving birth to their little girl, Isabella.  All of these babies make me think of when we were getting ready for Natalie and our birth plans and hospital bags.  Oh how foolish I was when I packed those bags.  If we have another baby, and right now that's a big IF, I will know better.

When I packed Natalie's bag - I actually did alright. I packed her coming home outfit which obviously we needed.  I packed a couple of blankets, which were nice to have on the way home since it was a cold day.  I also packed diapers and baby things that were completely unnecessary.  I didn't need to bring any diapers or wipes or ointments or powder.  The hospital happily provided all of those things for me. 

In my own bag, I had packed real clothes.  How foolish of me.  I wanted nothing but leggings, sweatpants and oversized t-shirts. I brought Natalie's baby book to get her hand/ footprints.  Not only did I not get her hand/footprints done - I still have not done them.  I know, I am terrible.  I brought her boppy with us so I could snuggle her in there and stare at her - nope, didn't use it once.  I brought the breast pump with us just in case - nope, didn't happen either.  I should have listened to more people when they told me not to do that.  I also packed a wide assortment of snacks that were amazing.  I created my own trail mix with M&Ms, granola, gold fish and mini-wheats and it was delish. I will say, I am also extremely happy that I brought flip flops for the shower and my own shower things.  It was nice having my face scrub and my shampoo.  It was nice to smell like me.  I was also happy that I brought a small travel toothbrush instead of my own because I definitely left that thing at the hospital.

The reality is - with the things I didn't need to bring for her and the things I didn't need to bring for me, I could have taken one much smaller bag to the hospital, but you live and you learn.  So for the (maybe) next time here is what I am thinking for the baby's bag:

• a coming home outfit (with hat or headband if the next one is a girl)
• a warm blanket for bundling for the car ride home (season permitting)
• socks

And here is what I am thinking for my own:

• slippers
• flip flops for the shower
• flip flops/uggs for going home - depending on the weather
• leggings, sweatpants and t-shirts/long sleeve shirts
• toiletries (shampoo, face wash, body wash, lotion, toothbrush and toothpaste)
• snacks
• phone charger

Like I said, we could have easily just brought one bag to the hospital for me and Natalie. You live, you learn. 

Blogger Makeover

Today I decided it was time to make some changes to the blog.  I have given this a lot of thought lately.  When I started blogging, I used the name simplymywedding.  When I got married and made the decision to continue blogging, it made sense to change the name of the blog to fromweddingtowife.  Now that Natalie is here, I feel like that name doesn't quite encompass what I am writing about.  As Blazey put it, "becoming the Wilkinsons is now relevant because you are now progressing into becoming a family and what happens when you become a family."  I mean, Natalie is part of my life as a wife, but she is so much more than that so I felt like I needed something a little more - hence the name change and face lift.

before the bling and baby :)

after the bling, before the baby (arrived)

Picking the name becomingtheWilkinsons was pretty easy.  I mean, a big part of becoming the Wilkinsons was getting married.  That's how I got my last name.  That's how Brandon and I became the Wilkinsons.  Going through fertility treatment to have a baby is just another way that we became the Wilkinsons.  And now that Natalie is here, I feel like we really are "the Wilkinsons".  It's an incredible feeling and it's really amazing to think about. Holy sappy hormonal moment - becoming a mom has made those moments far more frequent and twice as weird.

So why now?  Today I was reading my favorite family/mommy blog - little baby Garvin - and I read the best story about Harper.

In the midst of Harper & I both being sick this week, we made a little couch bed & snuggled for a while the other morning. I must have gotten sucked in to the entertaining episode of mickey because I totally forgot that I had set my full iced coffee on the ground next to us. When Harper finally decided she wanted to get down, she climbed off the couch & immediately punted my coffee across the living room. Before I could even sit up, she yells "oh no, sweetie! i got it!!" (she now calls Brandon & I "sweetie" because we call her that all the time), she takes off running to the kitchen & comes back with a single Boogie Wipe to clean it up. I couldn't stop laughing, I had to grab a bath towel since there was an ocean of coffee soaking into the carpet, but Harper just kept dabbing away. She surprises me every day with the new things she says & does, but this one totally takes the cake. 

That's when it really hit me - I am so excited for that age with Natalie.  I cannot wait to write about how my little family will grow and change, love and learn.  My blog name didn't really cover all of the things that I want to cover and the journey ahead of us - it just covered where I had been and we have a quite an exciting ride ahead of us.  I have loved each stage of Natalie.  I know she is only 2.5 months old, but that little girl has completely changed my world.  She has so much personality and spunk already.  I cannot wait to see her grow and learn.  She babbles so much that I day dream about the conversations she and I are going to have when she gets older. 

Lately people have asked me if I miss being pregnant or when we plan to have another one.  I don't know that we will have another one and if we do, if it will be anytime soon.  How do you tempt fate to try to create something as perfect as the one you have?  Natalie is so much fun and so sweet that right now I just want to focus on this stage of becoming the Wilkinsons and let life happen along the way.