Watermarking and the Scary Internet

We have all seen those Facebook posts "Share this so my 7th graders can see how big the internet really is" bla bla bla.  People share them, "oh what a great concept" and don't think about it more than that. But lately several of the blogs I follow have been talking about online privacy and it has really got me thinking.  

If we're friends on Facebook then you already know I don't share a lot of Natalie on Facebook.  I relegate her to Instagram because I can keep my account completely private, decide who can follow me and sharing my pictures isn't as easy there as it is on Facebook.  I don't share her on Facebook because I feel like I can't control who sees those pictures regardless of the "privacy" settings. (Yes, I know how ironic it is because I have the blog, but I feel like I only have a handful of people who follow my blog so it doesn't feel the same way to me - don't worry, I'll share more on this in a moment.) I once posted a picture of Natalie on Facebook and someone shared it which caught me completely off-guard. Why? Because what if someone else shares Nat's picture from that person's page? I can't control that. In no time, my daughter could have been shared on the internet by  people I don't know and I don't know who has that picture and what they are using it for.

Stephanie from Newlyweds: North just did a piece on watermarking that put a name to that fear: virtual kidnapping. There are some really strange and really sick people out there.  Reading the article (linked above) from the Washington Post about baby role-play really made that even more apparent to me and made me feel even more paranoid about how I can best protect my child. Virtual kidnapping.  Seriously? Who would have thought this could even be a rational fear?!  With the advent of the internet and social media, the fears of parents now are so different than the fears of my parents and those before. Megan from Willow & Co did a post that goes hand in hand with Stephanie's post and it really made me think about things I can do and things I can change to protect Natalie more.

So what now?  Now I am taking on a massive project of going back and watermarking every single picture I have on the blog that has my daughter's face on it.  This also means updating all of my pins on the Becoming the Wilkinsons pinterest board too.  I had debated deleting those posts, like Megan did, or simply removing all the pictures, but that seems harsh. I don't want to delete the posts that I took the time to write - especially since this is a tracking tool of sorts for me.  This is the diary of my motherhood journey. So from here on out, I am going to be watermarking anything that has Natalie's face on it.  I will continue to put my little @becomingthewilkinsons discretely on my pictures that include Brandon and I, but I will be more cognizant of watermark placement in pictures that are of just Natalie.  

It's a scary world out there and I know I can't protect her from everything, but damn it if I won't try!  And I know there are going to be people who scoff at this and people who will think I am crazy and that is absolutely okay by me. I am simply doing what I think is right for my family. Isn't that all any mama wants to do?

a weekend in pictures

So that big list of things that I wanted to accomplish on Friday... that was a joke.  After Natalie went to daycare, I had a most delicious breakfast sandwich from Sheetz, ran some errands (but did not get my oil changed), took a nap and then I went out to lunch. Did I unpack any of the boxes in the office? Nope. However, I did buy a little potty for the miss. 

We are going to start potty training. And I use that term "potty training" VERY loosely. We are going to sit on the potty before we change into our jammies at night. It's a step in the right direction. We aren't in any hurry to start this process. We're not entirely sure that she is ready to start the process but we're taking baby steps. She loves her potty so we're hoping that we can make this fun.  We have heard plenty of potty training nightmares so we're hoping that baby steps will be helpful for all of us.

Other than that, we had a pretty low-key weekend filled with snuggles, walks and s'mores.  We pulled my cozy coupe out of the shed and it was fun to see Natalie play with something that had been mine... even if it was short lived.  She really does not like any toy that keeps her confined or slows her down.  She ended up just pushing the car around the yard but it made her happy!  Half the time we're hit or miss on proper use of her toy lawn mower.  She will throw it over her shoulder and carry it around the yard if she feels it is taking her too much time to push it. Bless her little ever-moving heart :)

sharing secrets with Daddy :)

these two have come a long way!

I also read quite a few posts about watermarking and privacy this weekend, along with a few terrifying articles about stealing baby pictures for online role playing.  A few months ago I started putting my @becomingthewilkinsons on my pictures in my posts, but after some of the scary things I read over the weekend I will be trying to be better about it. I will be writing a post of my own about it this week so stay tuned for that!

Four Happiness Friday

I am finally feeling like we're really getting settled.  The addition of a tv in the guest room has done wonders for our bedtime routine.  Mickey Mouse clubhouse comes on 30 minutes before bedtime so it's a perfect way to start the evening shut down.  I still haven't unpacked those last boxes but they will get done before I am 30... I hope. 

1. On Monday, I got held-over at work for an hour and a half while working on preparation for a huge physician and Embryology meeting that was happening that night. Brandon swooped in and picked up Nat and had dinner made by time I got home.  I am really lucky to be married to someone so thoughtful :)

2. National Infertility Awareness Week. I shared my story again yesterday for those who are new around here. I am so incredibly blessed to have such a funny, sweet, happy little girl and this week is a nice reminder of that.  I want people to know that they are NOT alone. 

3. New perfume. I cannot tell you when I ran out of perfume but I can tell you it's been quite a long time. The other day I splurged and got myself a new bottle of perfume. It is so nice to feel like I smell nice again - it makes me feel more put together and given how crazy I have been feeling lately, it helps to trick people into thinking I am sane. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it certainly can't be a crazy person. Am I right?  Brandon said I smell like me again. Thanks... I think. I also snagged Brandon some cologne. When I asked him what kind he wears, he told me "the free kind". Bless his heart.  His mom got us both D&G Light Blue one year for Christmas (it's what I wear anyways) and I liked the way he smelled in that so I went with that. (Thanks Lori for making that easier for me!)

4. Playing hooky. Although, I guess it doesn't really count as hooky when you tell your boss in advance that you will be calling out. I like my boss, like a lot, so I can't leave her hanging completely. Brandon convinced me that taking a day off, having some me time and making it a long weekend would increase my sanity.  The move and the chaos have finally caught up with me and I am feeling a little bit nuts.  Brandon said my pre-sleep rambles the other night could have sent me to the looney bin. So far today, I have slept in, enjoyed Nattie snuggles in bed while watching Kat & Mim-mim and had french toast sticks with our little girl.  I would say today is off to a good start :)  I have big plans to drop her off at daycare, get my oiled changed, grab lunch with a friend, unpack those last boxes (ha! I won't hold my breath) and take a nap before picking her back up. Yep, life is pretty good :)

Hope y'all have super wonderful weekends! It's supposed to be a bit cooler here this weekend so we may need to have some snuggles around the fire pit this weekend :) 

National Infertility Awareness Week: my story

The other day when Jordan and I were walking back to our desks after meeting with Dr. Levy, we were talking about a patient who is back in treatment for baby #2 and I mentioned that I couldn't believe it had been almost three years since the patient had baby #1 and four years since she did treatment.  And then it occurred to me that it had been two years since I went through my own IVF cycle.  How is that possible?  It feels like it was yesterday while also feeling like it was an eternity ago.  It's hard to believe that so much time has passed since Brandon and I began our journey to have a family. 

Three years ago this month I experienced my first and, so far, only known miscarriage. Miscarriages are not uncommon. Ten to twenty percent of known pregnancies end in miscarriage, but the number of miscarriages could be higher as many occur so early in pregnancy that the woman may not even know she was pregnant. That was not the case for me.  I was very much aware that I was pregnant. I was a couple days late. I peed on the stick and saw the faint second pink line. I took a couple dozen or so tests over the next several days and watched that second line grow darker. I scheduled an appointment for blood work with my OB/GYN and had come up with so many ideas for ways to tell Brandon he was going to be a father. I never got the chance. I grieved in silence for weeks.  Finally, I opened up to Brandon and we took steps to move forward. 

By September, we weren't pregnant.  I had tracked my ovulation religiously.  I had tried every weird trying to conceive myth from laying with my legs in the air to eating tons of baby carrots. Nothing was working. I did cycle day three blood work that revealed an elevated prolactin level. I had to have an MRI done to rule out pituitary tumors. Brandon and I both completed full prescreening work-ups that included karyotypes and we sat down with Dr. Levy.  Both of us had our issues.  He had decent sperm, not fabulous. I had an elevated prolacatin, crappy ovulation and weird cycles.  We were a match made in infertility heaven :)

We started with lesser before greater treatment.  Dr. Levy didn't want us to rush into anything. Brandon was happy with that approach. I dealt with it. Our first IUI cycle was not successful. It was a beautiful cycle that seemed promising, but resulted in a big fat negative.  Our second IUI cycle was pitiful.  I didn't surge until day 21 of my cycle and my ovulation was "disappointing".  I will never forget when Dr. Levy used that word.  For cycle number 3 we opted to use Clomid. I developed a serious case of the clomid crazies (something that happens in less than 1% of women - lucky me) and we had to cancel the cycle.  The clomid left me broken hearted and with three big cysts to kick off the new year. Charming.  I was so over doing IUIs and I was especially over the idea of ever using Clomid again.

In February of 2013 we started our IVF cycle. The dates all made sense and had some kind of meaning to us which I completely took as a good sign.  IVF treatment was much easier than I had anticipated.  It was super structured: do this and then that.  You take x amount of medicine on this day at this time and then you show up on this day at this time for an ultrasound and blood work appointment. You wait for results and then repeat. It was so calculated that I feel very confident that things would work out.  One day later than we had anticipated based on my protocol, we had our egg retrieval and then five days later we had our transfer.  Two weeks later we found out that we were pregnant.  We crossed the first big hurdle.  Then we watched our blood pregnancy level rise (second hurdle).  Then we had our first obstetric ultrasound and we saw the heartbeat (third hurdle). We were graduated from Shady Grove just shy of the one year anniversary of my miscarriage.  In November of 2013, we were blessed with the most beautiful, perfect, little bundle of joy.

Infertility was a tough road to go down.  I know I talk about it now so freely and happily like it was all so easy peasy, but it took time to get to this point.  There were some very dark days, but we took on the challenge and we are so much stronger for it. Our road to have a family was a longer road than some go down. At the same time, it was a shorter journey than others have faced.  But it was our journey and I am so blessed to have had such a wonderful outcome. Infertility could have ripped my marriage apart.  I have seen it happen. Instead, it made us stronger and, in the end, gave us the most perfect present of all for our hard work.

If you are struggling to get pregnant, please know that you are not alone.  If you are grieving the loss of a pregnancy, you are not alone.  If you are getting ready to start your fertility journey or are in the middle of it, you are not alone.  I faced the struggle, I embraced the journey and I came out stronger on the other side. There are so many wonderful resources available and I am happy to help you find them and take full advantage of them. Please know and always remember (even on the hard days), you are not alone.

Four Happiness Friday

Slowly but surely we're adjusting to our new normal.  I know I have said it every week since the move, but it really does feel like it's been a process and much harder to settle into a rhythm this time around.  This weekend we are going to make a big push to finally unpack those last boxes and DirectTv is coming to set up the last of the tvs which means we can go back to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse snuggles before bed.  Normal is right around the corner. I just know it! So many exciting things happening in our home though so it's easy to be excited that it's Friday!

1. Natalie's new house big girl bedroom. It is everything I envisioned it would be!  A couple weeks ago when Sandee from the Frederick Papery dropped off Nat's paper garland I couldn't help but get super excited about how it would look in her new house big girl bedroom!  I don't know what I love most: the new bedding, the paper garland, her rug or the floors!  I am in love with the shelves Brandon hung for me! This is exactly the room I always pictured for the little miss :)

To celebrate the new house, The Frederick Papery is offering 10% off any purchase of $15 or more with coupon code WILKINSONSBLOG10!  You will be sure to find the most adorable paper garland, invitations and thank you notes! Custom orders are welcome!

2. On Sunday we took a little family walk around the new neighborhood. We walked down to the gas station deli to get some ice cream, ginger ale and snacks :) We also discovered a little pizza place within walking distance that we are looking forward to trying this weekend! And do you know what is next to the pizza place? An adorable little dance studio!  I am loving playing with the idea of putting Nat into a dance class in the next few years! The idea of her in a little leotard and tutu makes me so giddy!

3. The beginnings (shh don't tell Brandon it's only the beginning) of Natalie's spring/summer wardrobe arrived in the mail this past week.  I cannot wait for the weather to get consistently warmer so that I can get her into some of these outfits!  The weather report says 79 tomorrow which means the little miss will be sporting some shorts! I can't wait to see those chunky thighs running around the yard :)

this isn't even all of the loot :)

4. Infertility Awareness. This week I was asked to participate in an e-book being done by SGF to raise awareness about infertility. I also did a little interview with Melissa from One Mother to Another about my infertility journey. I love sharing my story in the hopes that I can help just one person to know that they are not alone. Sunday kicks off Infertility Awareness week so you can be sure I will be posting a recap of our infertility journey next week :)

the great #2 debate

Almost daily I have someone ask me when we are going to have baby number 2.  Brandon and I have had this conversation a million and one times.  And while, really, it is no one's business - I will talk about it in hopes that it slows down the questioning.  The truth is, it's a big question with even bigger questions attached to it.  Having our first baby wasn't exactly a walk in the park.  So while another baby would absolutely be a blessing but I don't know that we're ready for that yet.

Emotionally, we are 110% ready for another baby.  Brandon and I have always said that we want a big family.  If it were financially feasible we would love to have four little Wilkinsons one day.  So yes, emotionally, I would happily welcome a second little Wilkinson into the clan.  I had held out hope that new house meant new baby.  The more thinking we do about this though, the more we realize that now isn't the right time.  I don't know that I am emotionally ready for Natalie to not be my only child.  It's such a funny contradiction: being ready for another baby but not being ready for your only baby not to be your only baby. Sometimes I forget just how young she is - she won't be two until November.  She is growing up so fast and is quite mature and smart and even though she is considered a toddler, she is really still a baby, my baby. 

More importantly, I don't know that I am ready mentally.  We have a lot going on right now. Brandon is finishing up grad school in the next month. (Wahoo!) We just moved into the house and we're trying to get settled which is taking a bit longer than anticipated.  Finding a new routine has been hard - especially since we're not completely unpacked yet and finding the motivation to unpack those last dozen or so boxes has been tough. 

On top of that, Natalie is going through a very interesting, very needy for her mama phase.  I can't walk in the door and take my shoes off without her needing me to hold her right away.  I can't go to our room and change my clothes after work without her standing at the top of the stairs crying because I am out of her line of sight.  I can't get through cooking dinner without her needing to be picked-up and snuggled.  I cherish feeling so loved and needed by her but it really makes me reconsider throwing another baby in the mix.  I don't think she is ready to share her parents and be a big sister and that is not something that I want to put on her before she is ready. I think she needs more time.  I don't want her to resent a younger sibling. I want her to understand what is happening and be excited about it.  I want mama's little helper, not mama's little hater.

We had talked about doing a frozen embryo transfer this fall but even then, it's too soon.  I know that when we have a second baby, I will not be working full time anymore.  I refuse to work for daycare and we'd be looking at doubling our daycare expenses.  Throw in diapers and formula too... woof.  So, that's another huge consideration.  We need to get more settled into the utilities flow with the new house before I can make the big jump to being a stay at home mom.  Not to mention, we have a lot of big purchases to make in the near future for that new home: living room furniture, a new water heater and a new AC condenser.  [Imagine not having AC when pregnant - that would be terrible!]  Besides, I am not ready to give up drinking good wine and make the jump to box wine to save money so for that reason, I need to work a little bit longer :) Just kidding - my decision to have a second baby is not based upon the type of wine I purchase. I already love box wine.

So for all of those asking when we will have baby #2, I will tell you this: my personal goal was to have two babies by 30.  I will be 30 in October of 2016.  I don't plan to deliver a baby before then, but definitely plan to be pregnant on my 30th birthday.  How pregnant? That remains to be seen :)  So for now, I am going to drink good (inexpensive) wine (sometimes from a box), furnish our new home and enjoy our little girl feeling confident in our decision to put adding to our family on hold until we're all ready for that next step, both emotionally and mentally.

Four Happiness Friday

Our first holiday in the house was a total success.  We're getting boxes unpacked and we're adjusting to new commutes and our new normal.  It's taking more time than I had anticipated and sometimes I feel like it's not real, but I guess that is so be expected. Here is this weeks four...

1. I am totally in love with my new #momlife bag from Emerson Grace Boutique!  It came in the mail last night and I had completely forgotten that I had pre-ordered it!  I could not be more excited to use this bag for trips out with the little miss :)

2. The wreath on my mantle :)  I mentioned before how excited I was to work with Karissa from The Burlap Boutique on making the perfect wreath for the front door.  Once all the furniture was in the house, I could not wait to hang this on the door!  Turns out, we have a steel front door and we cannot hang a wreath there.  The 3M hooks were not strong enough either.  And the cut out on the front door means no wreath hanger will fit.  After sulking for a bit, I found a place for it over the mantle and I love it there even more.  It absolutely is the perfect finishing touch to make our new house feel like home!

3. Easter Sunday.  We had so much fun celebrating Easter with our family.  It is so nice having a big yard where the kids could run around and play :)  I am still on cloud nine thinking about what a perfect day we all had!

4. On Thursday, Starbucks actually got my name right on my cup.  It's the little things in life :)  It's actually fairly embarrassing how much happiness it brought me.  I saw it as a sign that I was going to have a good day.

BONUS: Brandon and I rotate who puts Natalie to bed.  For awhile, I had been the one to put her to bed every night and it was hard.  She was at an age where the bedtime routine was brutal.  So we opted to split the schedule into an every other night rotation.  Bedtime is now one of the sweetest moments of the day so I cherish the bedtime routine and I think Brandon does too.  Wednesday night, I was picking things up in the hallway and peeked in on them.  It just melts my heart the way she adores him and he adores her.

This weekend is supposed to be gorgeous around here!  We are looking forward to playing outside and enjoying the yard!  Hope everyone has wonderful weekends and great spring weather to play in! 

push presents: to do or not to do?

For some reason, I have been seeing a lot of articles mentioning push presents lately.  One in particular was HuffPost's article 5 Things Not to Say to a Woman Who Just Gave Birth.  I have to weigh in on this. 

If you are not aware, a push present is a gift given to a woman after she gives birth - you know, for pushing out the baby.  Yes, a baby is a lovely present but let's be serious - a woman carried that tiny gem for 9 months. In some cases, that tiny gem is not so tiny at all.  Let's remember, shall we, that Natalie was 9 pounds 3 ounces and I pushed that (not-so) little sucker out in 28 minutes.  

Pregnant women have experienced some of the weirdest things that will ever happen to a person.  For some poor souls, they have not sneezed or laughed without peeing themselves a little bit for MONTHS.  For others, they might have Cover Girl hair, but their skin is breaking out, they are having hot flashes like you wouldn't believe and their shoes don't fit on their enormous feet.  For me, I had pregnancy carpel tunnel, was the size of a small house by time I delivered and I was swollen to the point that I barely recognize myself in some pictures. Natalie was (and is) a total gift from God, but I was not turning down a little something from Brandon for doing all that hard work.  

I mentioned this whole push present thing to Brandon when I was pregnant.  A Tiffany's catalog just so happened to come in the mail during my first trimester so I showed him something that I really loved. It was a simple little "N" charm.  It would be perfect on the chain next to the Tiffany's heart that I already wear. It is something that he would be able to replicate for future children.  And when he sat on my bed in the hospital while I held Natalie and presented me with this perfect little charm, I wept like a small baby.  It was so sweet on so many levels.  It was sweet that he remembered the exact thing that I had my eye on. It was sweet that he actually went to Tiffany's and got it (or ordered it online without my knowing).  It was sweet that he included Natalie in the way he gave it to me. And whenever I miss Natalie or am having a tough day, I have a little piece of her with me and it all seems better. 

I don't think push presents need to be elaborate things. I don't think they need to be expensive jewelry or designer hand bags. But, I do think they are necessary.  A woman carries the child, feels the child move and grow, is abused on the inside by the child (I could have SWORN that Natalie had broken off a piece of my ribs, whittled it into a shank and was stabbing me from the inside) and then pushes this tiny human out of an even tinier little hole (or the child is SURGICALLY removed from the mother) and then the mama is soon after forgotten.  Think about it, when people come to visit, they don't care nearly as much about seeing the mama as they do about getting their hands on the baby.  Trust me, I was there and experienced this first hand. People were far more interested in seeing Natalie than seeing me. It's okay - I expected it. It was nice in all of that to be remembered and thought of with that small token of Brandon's love and appreciation for what I endured. 

Let's not get this twisted though.  I don't think new moms are the only ones who deserve something. The hell and hormonal meltdowns that I put Brandon through definitely warranted something for him as well. I made sure that I got him a card and some cigars and I gave them to him the night before my induction.  I think it's important to remember that it took two to tango (or like ten in our case if you count the physicians, nurses, sonographers, MAs and embryologists) and it's important to take a minute during all that chaos to celebrate each other, your love and the fact that you're parents.  People get gifts on Mother's Day/Father's Day, so what should make delivery day any different? You don't get to celebrate those days without first celebrating delivery day!

What are your thoughts? Push presents: do or do not? And why?

first holiday in the new house :)

Brandon and I were just crazy enough to think hosting Easter a week after moving into the new house was a good idea.  It ended up being a great idea :)  Brandon and I both agreed that even though it had been much debated, we came up with a good menu: smoked ham, mac n cheese, french onion roasted potatoes, salad, cucumber salad, and french green beans.  We had enough food to feed a small country and we will be eating leftovers for a few days - something I am totally okay with!  The day was filled with good company, good food, tractor rides and an Easter egg hunt.  Both tiny humans were really well behaved and made it through the days without naps and with only minor meltdowns. 

Brandon, Natalie and me with Brandon's parents and brother :)

successful Easter egg hunt in the front yard!

my Easter pinterest win!

first peep :)

reading Easter books with Tia Chelle

love my little family of three :)

Overall, it was a really wonderful day.  The weekend was super chaotic and I could cry because I am so not ready for another work week, but I am happy we opted to take on the challenge.  Hope everyone else had a happy Easter or Passover or whatever celebration you opted to participate in this weekend! 

Four Happiness Friday

Slowly but surely boxes are getting unpacked and life is getting back to normal. Well, it's a new normal for us but normal nonetheless.

1. New commute to work.  While my commute home is a total bear, my commute to work is a bit better.  On a good day, I was getting to work in about 53-55 minutes before my stop for coffee.  Now, I am getting to work in about 38-45 minutes and that includes my stop for coffee!  I take a windy little back road and it's really quite peaceful in the morning.  Not a terrible way to start the day :)  This week it has taken me anywhere from an hour and twenty five minutes to an hour and forty minutes to get home.  Hopefully we will be able to figure out a way to make that better!

2. Finished floors.  While Bruce still needs to lay down thresholds and reducers (whatever that means), the floors are done!  It is incredible how much bigger the house looks without carpet.  It was an expensive endeavor, but it was well worth the money.  And Gemma has been using the puppy pads successfully all week!  It's like she knew how to do it that whole time and just didn't because she is a malicious little creature. Brandon always tells me dogs aren't capable of spite, but I am pretty sure this proves he is wrong. Either way, I love my new floors and I am so proud of that little pooch!

3. Spring Weather.  It has been absolutely gorgeous the last couple days and I am really hoping this nice weather sticks around.  It has been so nice to come home and be able to go outside and play.  Natalie loves having a big yard to run around in!  While we (dogs included) are still adjusting to not being able to just open the back door every time the dogs want to go out, it's getting easier. Who am I kidding? I don't take them out, that is Brandon's job. He is adjusting.  It's been a bit frustrating but with time we will be able to get a fence up that Gemma can't crawl under and Hank can't jump!

4. Lunch dates. On Tuesday I had lunch with one of my high school best friends (Katie) to celebrate her 30th birthday and I ate some of the best avocado egg rolls I have ever had in my life. [Seriously, if you have a BJ's Restaurant and Brewhouse near you, I suggest you go get them today.]  Then on Wednesday I had lunch with one of my work best friends (Jordan) to celebrate being back at work! ...oh yea, and my new home.  We had Nando's (yum) and Lily Magilly's cupcakes (double yum).  I am so lucky to have such wonderful friends to celebrate such big milestones with.

We have a big weekend ahead of us!  This weekend we have planned a trip to Lowe's, Home Goods and the outlets.  I need to get some new work pants.  This week we learned two things: (1) apparently, we didn't check the dryer before the move and it would so appear that I left my black ones in the dryer and (2) it seems as though I only own one pair of work pants.  And, more excitingly, Sunday is Easter! We are so excited to host our family at the new house!    

I hope everyone had super wonderful weeks and that the Easter Bunny comes to your house this weekend! Actually, that would be terrifying. So let's try this, here's to hoping everyone has wonderful weekends that do not involve a 6 foot rabbit making an appearance in their homes but do involve tons of fun, Easter goodies, friends and family :) 

300

If someone had told me when I started this blog that I would write 300 posts, I would have laughed.  I was not entirely sure I was ready for that kind of commitment. Part of me started the blog because so many of the girls I was friends with at work had a blog. It was almost kind of trendy.  Part of me started it because I really enjoyed writing and thought it would be fun.  The part of me that found it fun is the reason that I picked it back up after a long hiatus and I am so glad that I did.

I have learned so much about myself through this blog. The way it transitioned from Simply my Wedding to From Wedding to Wife and now to Becoming the Wilkinsons really shows how much it has grown and changed with me.  I have gone back and read posts from a younger me and I have come so far. While many things have stayed the same, so many things have evolved.  The priorities I had when planning my wedding, the things I held important in my early 20s have drastically changed in my late 20s.  I love being able to see that in myself.  I love seeing my relationship with Brandon evolve too.  My marriage has come so far. We have been tested and we have persevered.  It is so wonderful to be able to look back on the different adventures we have had, especially our infertility journey, and see how much we have grown and changed. I love being able to look back on those first days and weeks of Natalie and read things that sleep deprivation has left a little fuzzy now. 

I have learned so much about people too. I was met with a lot of criticisms for my views on different things, especially a family situation.  I was judged for how I handled something within my own family. Something that did not impact those being critics in any way, shape or form.  I was judged for standing up for my beliefs and holding true to the values my parents instilled in me all because I wrote about the very intense feelings and emotions associated with the situation.  Not all people were taught that just because my views and values don't match your views and values does not mean you are wrong or I am wrong. It's a hard lesson that I can only hope to teach my children. 

While there has been some pain associated with this blog, I have met some really wonderful people too.  Complete strangers cheering for me when I battled infertility. I found such comfort in another person's blog when I was experiencing my miscarriage (I will forever be thankful for stumbling upon A Little Blueberry) and I can only hope that I can provide someone else that same kind of quiet solidarity by sharing my story.  I have met other moms struggling with sleep deprivation and transitioning into the parenting role.  While we all do things differently and may not always share the same views on things, I have picked up so many great ideas and tips along the way!  I also know that at the end of the day, we all share the same goal: be awesome parents. [And ladies, believe me, you are!]

The blogging world is a really weird place and I am so thankful that 300 posts ago I decided it would be a good idea to join. Thanks for joining in the ride with me :)

home sweet home

I know things have been fairly quiet on my end for the last week.  Life has been pretty crazy.  Here is a quick recap of how things went:

Tuesday: Normal work day for both Brandon and me, but we both popped by the house with some boxes to start moving things in.  We requested a pre-settlement rental deal from our sellers and they happily agreed to it.  We were thrilled to be able to get into the house early.

Wednesday: Natalie went to daycare and Brandon had work but I made more trips to the new house with boxes.  I also painted the basement family room and hallway.  Since I couldn't get the heat to turn on (later to find out because the gas was turned off), I didn't open the windows which led to somewhat frequent breaks to unpack.  By the end of the day Wednesday, the basement had gotten two coats of paint and the kitchen was partly unpacked.  At least, at the time I thought it was until I realized just how much kitchen stuff we really have!

Thursday: It was a bit of an insane day.  Brandon went to work. Natalie went to daycare. I took the dogs to the kennel, got coffee and made my first trip of the day to the new house. Brandon's parents got to the townhouse shortly after I got back and we packed up Gary's truck and my little SUV and we made a trip to the new house.  I stayed back and painted our bedroom with my sister while Gary and Lori made another couple trips.  I don't know what we would have done without them!  We picked up the u-haul Thursday afternoon and when Brandon got home from work, he and Gary got that packed. I finished up things at the new house, came back to pack up a few things and then went to get Natalie. Thursday night the moving truck went to the new house and we stayed at the hotel.  The staff at the Marriott were absolutely amazing.  Everyone was so helpful and so friendly. Bruce started on our floors on Thursday night and I was excited to see them on Friday morning.

Friday: Brandon and I said our final goodbyes to the townhouse.  It was really bittersweet.  We had closing #1 at 10:00 but it didn't start until 10:30 as our buyers got held up with their final walk through.  This nearly gave Brandon a heart attack - he was just waiting for something to go wrong.  By time we began, Brandon and I had already signed all of the paperwork.  The buyers of our home seemed nice. They will be using it as a rental property.  We had closing #2 at 11:00 and our sellers were there early so we were able to get started early.  Robin and Dennis were really nice and gave us some pointers about the house, some details about the neighborhood and let us know who has the best food. (Brandon found out on Monday that Robin was not kidding - the chicken salad from the deli is amazing.)  After closing, we went to lunch to celebrate.  Then we headed to the house and got everything out of the truck. Bruce came that evening after work and did more work on the floors.

Saturday: We put our focus on trying to get as much done as possible so that Bruce could finish the floors.  My sister, Michelle, and Brandon's college roommate, Greg, came to help us paint and we were able to get the three bedrooms on the main level painted.  I cleaned the bathrooms and kitchen and got more of those boxes unpacked.  It seemed like I worked for hours and barely made a dent.  Bruce came that evening and got the flooring done in Natalie's room.

Sunday:  We were at an impasse.  We couldn't do anything downstairs since Bruce had not finished the basement and we couldn't do anything upstairs since Bruce was working on those bedrooms.  It was a blessing in disguise.  We took advantage of the day off and spent time with Brandon's parents and with Natalie.  We took her to the hotel pool and she had so much fun.  Both the little miss and I were passed out by 5:30.  We were able to wake up enough to eat something and go back to bed.  By the time we went to bed, Bruce had finished all three bedrooms upstairs.

Monday: Brandon and I were both off.  I went straight to the house to wait for the guy to come turn the gas on and Brandon took Natalie to daycare.  I got right to work putting the second coat of paint on the walls in Natalie's room. We were able to finish painting in all of the bedrooms.  We have some minor touch-ups to do in all of the rooms, but nothing major and nothing that will get in the way of unpacking. Bruce got to the house around 8:30 and was able to finish up laying the flooring in the basement.  We also had Verizon and DirectTV come and get those things set up. 

Tuesday: Brandon went back to work and Natalie to daycare.  I was off one last day.  I spent the morning getting Natalie's room put together (sadly, I am still not done!) and pulling boxes out of the living room.  I put anything baby related that Natalie has outgrown in what will eventually be #2's room.  It's nice to have a centralized location for all of that stuff.  Once I got those things out of the living room, I could see some serious progress.  Bruce got to the house around 9 to finish up the clean-up process and install the thresholds and reducers.  Unfortunately, I got crappy ones and Bruce was not going to install bad materials.  Gotta love that :)  So we will see Bruce later this week to get the floors finished up.  I grabbed a late lunch with my friend Katie to celebrate her 30th birthday.  It was nice to catch up while she was in town from Cambodia.  We picked Natalie up after lunch so that Katie would get to see her.  Brandon picked up the dogs and Hank and Gemma came home for the first time last night and it was exciting.  Brandon and I thought Natalie was going to cry tears of joy when she saw Gemma.

We are all in a big adjustment period.  The dogs aren't sure how to handle all of the space. They also aren't so sure about the outside situation.  We used to just open the backdoor and let them run free, but now they have to be on a leash every time they go out while we wait to get a fence installed.  Natalie is adjusting to her new room nicely.  We kept the layout very similar to her room at the townhouse and I think that has helped.  Brandon and I are finally sleeping in our bedroom but won't have bedroom furniture until this weekend. Slowly but surely we're settling in.  I am hoping next week I will be able to have things settled enough to share a picture tour of the house :)